How Can Someone Love Me (If They Don't Know Me Well)

I view the ten years after my dad died, 1997 to 2007, as a search to find, face, and free long held and hidden fears. The decade that followed, 2007 to 2017, could be described as a journey to surround and embrace those fears with love. In the process I was able to learn to love myself for who I am and so become more able to love others for who they are and to embrace and accept love from them. One of the things I realized in learning to love and be loved was that for a number of years I had been captive to a kind of riddle. A riddle that goes: How can someone love me if they don’t know me well, and if they know me well how can they love me? Like a lot of riddles in the end the answer can appear to be quite simple. In this case no one knows us better than we know ourselves. When we are able to love ourselves – all of who we are - even the things we might not like – the riddle is suddenly solved. The song How Can Someone Love Me If They Don’t Know Me Well came as a result of solving that riddle. The song lasts about three minutes. It took ten years before I had what it took to write it.