10th Campfire Chronicle published on YouTube

This Campfire Chronicle was first shared in May of 2012. While I had talked before that time about my father’s hospitalization, lighting this campfire was the moment I acknowledged that truth “with the world.” While I believed sharing what had long been a secret was not “wrong” at the time I was incredibly nervous and uncertain. I had to think long and hard about how my dad, who died in 1997, would have felt about it. While he would have mixed feelings I believe he would be proud of me. I also needed to talk with my mother and brothers to tell them what I was doing and to get their feelings about the choice I was making.
Now, a little less than three years later, I realize what a gift it has been for me to shine the light of story where once there had been only the darkness of a secret. I also realize how much difference it made that the light in the story was the light of love.

My family has a history of mind illnesses. I have dealt personally with depression and anxiety. It is possible my grandfather was told by doctors to leave Sweden for similar reasons. One of my dad’s brothers died in a mental institution. My father who was eleven at that time was simply told his brother died of pneumonia. I haven’t talked with anyone who has dealt with a mind illness that feels the stigma and shame around them has been removed. That’s a shame.

It took me sixty-five years to get comfortable enough to share with the world what happened to me and to people I love at the time that I was born. While a part of me wonders how it could have taken so long a much larger part that continues to grow is simply grateful.