Some thoughts on the song BLESSINGS OF THE HEART
My dad died on May 28, 1997. Three days later at his memorial his friend and minister read from my dad’s writings. Unexpectedly he chose to share some of what my dad wrote about the time he spent in a mental institution the months before and a few months after I was born. In my dad’s own words in that unexpected and public way a family secret was revealed.
My primary purpose of the year that followed was to think about and remember my dad every day, to celebrate his life and to grieve his loss. The time spent resulted in what I call a musical memoir entitled Season of the Heart that included thirty-four new songs. I performed that musical memoir first on the anniversary of my dad’s death at my mom’s home in Spokane and the following week for three nights and an afternoon at the Richard Hugo House on Capitol Hill in Seattle.
For those who have read John Steinbeck’s East of Eden you may remember Adam – the ailing father – being asked to give his surviving son, Caleb, his blessing. Adam’s word – the last in the book – was timshel – the transliteration for the Hebrew word thou mayest. Somewhere in my year of grieving and creating Season of the Heart I came to see my father’s words shared at his memorial as his last gift to me. It was as if he was offering his blessing. I no longer needed to be a keeper of secrets. He was freeing me, I believe, to explore the frightened and unlit places in my life and as I did infuse them with light, love, song, and story.
It would be twenty years before I was able to stand on a stage in front of family and friends believing that is what I had done. It is appropriate that the first song shared that night from the Gratitude, Grit and Grace album, Blessings of the Heart, was the closing song from that musical memoir, Season of the Heart.
For those who are taking the time to watch the concert video, you will notice the performance is far from perfect. Before the performance began I would have told you I knew the songs well enough. Clearly the pressure of performing them that night proved that wasn’t the case.
